What if I believed you, would it change my heart?

I was in the car a few weeks ago. It was dark and the road was illuminated only by the headlights of the surrounding vehicles. The M25 was fairly empty and I was driving home. I always get anxious when I'm going home to see Adam. I get butterflies in my stomach and I tap the steering wheel. The journey's long but it goes fast because I have an aim, a direction. I had the 'I'm coming home' line from Hearts burst into fire by Bullet For My Valentine running through my head, so I reached into the glove compartment to find the CD & ended up finding Momento Mori by Flyleaf so I stuck it in the player and worked through the tracks. Eventually I got to Circle and it has a line in it which goes:

'What if I believed you, would it change my heart?'

And it got me thinking, how have  I changed since becoming a Christian all those years ago and how does this make me different? People always say to me 'Vicky, you're so nice, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met' but the truth is I'm really not. I can be absolutely horrendous in my thoughts and in the way I act. Some of my prepubescent arguments with my sister hold testament to this! I'm nice not through me but though God working though me. I'm (trying to) show Jesus through my actions and perceptions to other people. I'm impatient, but through God's mercy, he gives me patience. I am judgemental but the father takes this from me.

I think one of the main reasons I am the person I am today is that because of my relationship with God, I have hope, hope in the future, hope in something more than this. The bible also teaches that only those who come to the lord can be truly satisfied. Its so easy to be distracted by things, things that God has given us to enjoy, even to the point of worshipping it over God. These things can bring happiness, but it's superficial and momentary. God holds the key.

So back to point: Have I changed since I became a Christian?

Absolutely.

I'm able to be happy, instead of coveting what someone else has, longing for approval from people who will never give you it and I have no dissatisfaction with life as a whole.
I have hope in something. I'm aiming towards a goal, a finishing line which means that my life has so much more meaning than aimlessly stumbling through.
I'm not a nice person alone, but with Jesus working through me, I'm able to show him to others which in turn makes me seem so much nicer.

Just a few points for thought ;)

XOX

9 Weeks Away

I blogged a few months ago about how it's been amazing and such a blessing to have been offered a job commencing from the end of my exams and still on-going (now permanent employment!). And as much as this is still true, the coincidence of this summer with London 2012 has led to some inevitable changes. 9 weeks ago Sunday trading law was relaxed meaning we extended our opening hours to 8pm on a Sunday and also my shift. This therefore made it absolutely impossible for me to attend CCK for the Sunday services, And with spending weekdays back home, I also missed summer small group.

Don't get me wrong, the Olympics have been absolutely amazing, even I watched parts and I really don't enjoy watching most sport.

But, how can I have grown in relationship with God without this kind of sustenance?

I didn't deal with it very well, I'm not very good at reading my bible in the best of circumstances, and without church I seemed to lose all motivation to do so completely. I filled my summer with work and threw myself into giving 100% to my new role and kind of pushed God aside.

The thing with God though is even when you go through phases (and I do this) of wanting to ignore him, finding it easier to not bother, God still loves us and he's waiting to forgive us. I find it amazing that no matter how far I try to run from him, he always pursues me, and is waiting with open arms.

So what changed? I always think that God doesn't speak to me, that it's a rarity that he does and there's no point in waiting when it seems so few and far between. It's a case of realising that God is always talking us, a lot of the time I'm not receptive to him, and I don't listen when he speaks. But this week God just stirred something in my heart to pick up my bible and start reading. I have a iPad app for the bible and it comes with some plans that you can follow and complete, and I was halfway through one & it spoke to me just as I was. I'm a conformist and I can have a tendency to just go along with the flow, go along with what everyone else is doing and this can easily lead you away from God, I can also be affected by worldly issues that distract from. The verse I read just said simply and directly 'Do not conform with the ways of this world' (you can read more about this in my other blog).

So then a couple of days later, I went to CCK student leaders on tour, and God really placed on my heart that I haven't been putting him at the centre, where in reality nothing else matters when it comes to God and I really need to work on focusing on him and not the distractions the world brings.

So after 9 weeks of being away, Sunday - I'm going back

XOX

Prayer point:
- Could you please just pray that through the next year with work, uni, relationships etc. I can maintain keeping God central & being proactive for him. =]

An Introduction

Welcome!!

New blog, not a replacement for my other blog, I'll still update that regularly, but a side blog. This is a blog dedicated to my thoughts and basically my journey in relationship with God.

So with a slightly different layout and look, I'm back, still talking about all the things that I find important :)

Keep watching & reading!

XOX